Last night I sat in my mom’s back yard watching Tim throw fire. Very impressive. Tim is like a twirling fire ninja. Earlier that night we talked about how much Tim wants to follow God; how thirsty he is for the truth and intimacy with the source of purpose. He is a confessing Christian who wants more of God, less of self. It was a great talk. Tim is a soulful seeker.
Tim grows marijuana in Humboldt Country, Northern California. He is well known in the herb community; the clubs in San Francisco buy the product he grows and with the money he earns, Tim supports his family.
While we talked, it was clear to me that Tim wanted a tighter connection with God. He said that maybe reading his bible more, going to church, or developing a better prayer life would fulfill this need for connection. He also reflected out loud that marijuana itself might be a barrier.
He wanted to know what my thoughts were, so I replied that discipline or moralistic change would never satisfy our primary need for God. Redemption arrives on the wings of desire, not duty. So the starting point of connection is not decisions to change behavior, but acting on the desire for union with God. When God has filled a willing person, change happens as a result of love, not duty or obligation.
When the truth sets you free, you are free indeed.
After the fire show, Tim and a few others visited my mom who is bed bound and very sick. We knelt down beside my mom’s bed held hands, and in turn, asked God to comfort, renew, and heal her.
While Tim prayed, I opened my eyes and watched as these three marijuana buzzed young men begged God for grace and healing for mom. They love my mom. My mom loves them back. They had a sweet and humble approach to Jesus that inspired me.
This was not your standard prayer meeting. An aid worker who regularly preaches in churches, a sick and bed bound mother, two stoners, and one dealer. I have to say, it was one of the better prayer meetings I have ever been to.
There is something sacred about being with people who have nothing to prove, nothing to offer but friendship, and nothing to gain by putting their best foot forward. Brokenness is a beautiful thing.
And out of a true connection with God, our behaviors and disciplines become a reflection of that inner contact. I often get it the other way around. Thanks Tim for being a teacher to me. Draw close to Jesus and He will draw close to you, giving you the deepest desires of your heart.
“Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.”
1 Corinthians 1:26-29